Overcoming Fears in Contact Work

Adapted from an article submitted by Pam Moore

Contact work is the foundation of effective Young Life ministry. We must be willing to initiate relationships and to permeate the turf of high school young people today. We must be willing to do this with all kinds of young people, many of whom are radically different from ourselves. Often the initial reaction of our leaders to this concept is one of fear. It is a scary thing, this whole notion of contact work. We are doing cross‑cultural ministry. We are crossing boundaries and breaking down walls and stereotypes. We are going into the battlefield and that is uncomfortable. We would be naive to think it would be otherwise.

But there are some tips that can help us move forward in spite of our fears in order to further the work of God’s Kingdom. We must ask ourselves, what exactly are our fears and what are the steps that can help us overcome them?


1. What are our Fears in Doing Contact Work?

Some of the most common ones mentioned by leaders are as follows:

  • Teens will reject us.
  • We as leaders won’t know how to relate or won’t know what to talk about.
  • Teens will think we are boring.
  • We won’t know how to move the conversation below the surface.
  • We won’t know how to be ourselves; we will feel self‑conscious or try to emulate someone else (another leader).
  • Teens won’t notice us if we are shy
  • We will make fools of ourselves or draw attention to ourselves, particularly if we are outgoing.
  • We will forget names of those we have met.
  • Teens will think we are weird. They will wonder why we are there. And they may even wonder why we do not hang around people our own age.

All these fears are real. And yet to raise our level of consciousness of these and any other fears we might have is the first step in being able to move forward.


2. How do we Overcome these Fears?

  • We need to remind ourselves every time we step onto a campus or spend time with a young person that the reality is – young people are dying for adult friends. They are looking for healthy role models that they can respect, admire and confide in. Don’t underestimate your role. Don’t be intimidated. Young people desperately want your friendship. It’s often with the young people you least expect that the Lord will work most dramatically.
  • Have confidence in the One who calls you to those young people. Remember Christ and the reality of His presence in you, with you and for you. He will give you confidence as you trust Him and take risks regularly.
  • Remember that with all of your faults and shortcomings, you are still His choice for those young people. He will show Himself through you: “We have this treasure in earthen vessels to show that the transcendent power belongs to God and not us,” 2 Corinthians 4:7.
  • As for what to talk about, the key is to remember to make them the experts. Ask things that the teens can talk about freely (their sports, their families, their friends).
  • Remember to be a good listener. Learn to ask leading and open‑ended questions. Learn to ask about the feelings behind what they are saying. Learn to listen attentively and to show empathy and compassion.
  • Demonstrate an attitude of acceptance and delight in knowing them. Practice the art of making young people feel special and loving them into their potential. That takes the touch of God’s Spirit in our own lives.
  • Always let young people know you are at school primarily because of them, not because of Young Life. We are friends, not recruiters. Be willing and available to go deeper and to be one who challenges kids.
  • Demonstrate servanthood in practical ways by offering rides, helping with school. This communicates loudly.
  • We need to individualise friendships, which means we need to limit the number of close relationships. Constantly have an attitude of going deep and wide. We go deep with a handful of young people and wide with many on campus. There are always new young people to meet and to befriend.

Never forget the importance of these four aspects of contact work:

  • Regularity.
  • Visibility.
  • Availability.
  • Accountability.
Download – Overcoming Fears in Contact Work

The Value of Small Groups

As we look at our Saviour’s life, we see that He used small groups in His ministry. In fact, much of the time we see Jesus was ministering to people in small groups. The following is an acronym that organ­ises some of the truths that demonstrate the value of a small group in a ministry setting.

Share your life

This happens as people share their struggles, joys, victories, sorrows, answers to prayer, what Jesus is teach­ing them, and what their relationship with Christ is like.

Ministry

Many times other people can see their friends’ gifts before they do. Small groups are a great place to challenge each other to discover and use their spiritual gifts.

Accountability

Small groups help us to be accountable in our spiritual walk, evaluating our spiritual discipline, challenging us to pray, memorize Scripture, and study God’s Word.

Listen and Learn

Being part of a small group can help develop the skill of truly listening to one another. God often speaks to us, or teaches through others experiences or revelations.

Love

Because we share our lives together, the group is able to understand many needs in the lives of each of its members. We can pray for others and often meet a need.

God

God speaks to us through the Body of Christ. In small groups we grow in our Christian walk as others confront, encourage, or pray for us.

Relationships

Small groups help us develop close, healthy, loving relationships with others. Deep friendships form quickly when you are in a small group that meets on a regular basis.

Opportunity

Small groups provide a wonderful opportunity to go deep with a few people, giving us a chance to be a part of what God is doing in the process of training leaders.

Unity

As small groups love and care for one another and work through conflict, the value of being united in love is displayed for all to see.

Prayer

In a small group, people are willing to share much more deeply than if they are praying with oth­ers they don’t know well. Pray anywhere and anywhere. Pray often!


Here are just a few of the many opportu­nities to use small groups in Young Life:

  • cabin time
  • work crew
  • mission community
  • camp‑work crew, summer staff, assigned team
  • committee/sub‑committees
  • Bible studies
  • discipleship
  • staff meetings
  • club
  • leadership meetings
  • contact work
  • prayer groups
  • tutoring
  • mentoring
  • after‑school programs
  • Mummy & Me
  • visit a committee member’s home with a small group of kids
  • service project with a small group of kids
Download – The Value of Small Groups

General Suggestions and Principles for Contact Work

Practice the discipline of learning names. Use whatever system will help best.

Look for ways to serve young people – taking a group home (but only those of the same sex!), keeping charts for games. Caution must be used, however, to prevent giving the impression of buy­ing their friendship.

Do not attempt to be one of the kids. We are leaders aware of our age, yet loving and genuinely interested in them and in their affairs. They need to see adult models.

Through established friendships, seek to know others. Sometimes we can receive a lot of help from those we know. But be careful to love kids for who they are and not what they can do for you or the club.

Do not force your way into certain social situations where you would not be wel­come, such as parties or some group dis­cussions. Pray always for sensitivity here.

Avoid making fun of young people. This is the most dangerous kind of humour.

Be careful about talking too much of your accomplishments or your own high school prowess.

Be yourselfDo not try to impress with overdone or clever antics, or by imitating others.  You don’t have to be a comedian, athlete, personality‑plus, to love them.

Ask questions about school life when in conversation with high schoolers. Most people enjoy talking about these things.

Ask God for a sincere interest in young people. They can spot the feigned inter­est. We might not like all they do, but we can appreciate them as people.

Be casual. Don’t work too hard at being friendly, with a lot of hand shaking or rapid patter, unless this is natural to you.

Develop a sense of humourFind what fits you best.

Be adaptable. Expect to have to change pace from time to time. We cannot pre­dict the adolescent behaviour.

Keep close personal records of significant contact, including the adult community. Some sort of diary is of great value, especially in our prayer life.

Seek to gain friendships with all types of young people, both school leaders and fol­lowers. Many of them will have great potential for leading their friends or par­ticular activity group.

Cheerfulness and enthusiasm are conta­gious.

In many areas, adults are not welcome in the halls of a school. Study the situa­tion carefully.

Have a valid reason for being there. You may have to forego any contact work in the buildings.

Every school situation or neighbourhood is unique. Work out a plan or strategy that fits your local picture.

Pray for those you have met, or want to meet. Enlist prayer support from inter­ested adults or Christian young people.

Contact work is never finished. There are always new ones to get to know. It is this continued effort to be their friend that wins the right to be heard with our message of Jesus Christ. Once the right has been won, work on the right of continued hearing.

Realise contact work is identification with people in a real way in the sense that Christ “the Word, became flesh and dwelt among them.”

Pray for kids as your eyes touch them. Ask God to lead you to those He wants you to meet. Make it a trusting experi­ence. God’s timing is not always ours.

Pray that God will lead you into deeper, relationships with specific kids. Ephesians 3:18, “That you, firmly fixed in love yourselves, may be able to grasp how wide and deep and long and high is the love of Christ, and to know for your­selves that love so far beyond our com­prehension.”

Be a person of integrity as so beautifully cited in 2 Corinthians 6:3‑10.

Do not draw people to yourself and keep them for your security reasons. Give friends every possible opportunity to grow. You are building the kingdom of God, not kingdoms unto yourself.

Remember the whole person, the family they come from, closest friends.  Take opportunities to introduce yourself to the parents / carers of the young people you’re working with and their friends.

Steve Chesney shares a story as to why meeting young people where they’re at is important. 

Download – General Suggestions & Principles for Contact Work

Campaigners Book

We hope you find this Campaigners Book useful.

Once you have completed the YL 101 course, you’ll have access to it as well in the Lesson: Resources.

Please note that these resources are Copyright to Young Life Australia; this means that you can use them for your use as a Young Life leader, but they can not be distributed to other youth or church organisations without first seeking approval from the National Office.

Download – Campaigners Booklet

What We Do

Before you begin to look at what we do, have a listen to these young people share about the way their Young Life leaders have impacted their lives.

Club

Club, simply put, is a time to clearly proclaim the Gospel.  Hear what Ty Saltzgiver has to say about the importance of sharing the Gospel well with our friends.

Please read through the course material below. Don’t forget to click “Mark Complete” at the bottom of the page once you have completed all the topics. This will allow you to continue with the course.

Once you have completed the reading, you will be able to take the quiz. You’ll need to pass the quiz in order to continue the course.

All our young people attending club should have a Care Monkey Profile completed by their parents / guardians.  Care Monkey is the online platform we use to collect indemnity information and consent for media and our activities.  Speak with your Area Manager or the National Office if you are unfamiliar with Care Monkey.

Going Deeper

Have a look a brief look at the history of Young Life.


Please read through the course material to the right.

Campaigners

Please note that these resources are Copyright to Young Life Australia; this means that you can use them for your use as a Young Life leader, but they can not be distributed to other youth or church organisations without first seeking approval from the National Office.

Download – Young Life Club Talks & Campaigner Lessons


Download – Young Life Club Talks – The Gospel Message

Download – Club Games Resource

Download – Course Material for YL 101


All our young people attending club should be registered on Care Monkey, which your Area Manager will allocate access for.  If  a child attending is unable to complete a Care Monkey profile, one of these forms must be completed by their parents / guardians. Your local Area Manager will collect the completed forms.

Download – Club Consent Form

Contact Work

Before you learn all about contact work, take note of this important reminder from Donna Hatasaki.


Please read through the course material to the right.

Camp

Listen to Glen Austell share about how Young Life Camping is unique.

Please read through the course material below. Don’t forget to click “Mark Complete” at the bottom of the page once you have completed all the topics. This will allow you to continue with the course.

Once you have completed the reading, you will be able to take the quiz. You’ll need to pass the quiz in order to continue the course.

There are multiple roles at any camp, each with their own specific training. You are welcome to do Camp Training at any time; it will be a requirement when you join us at a local or National camp to complete camp training prior to attending.